People come into our lives for all sorts of different reasons. Some leave a positive mark, while others are surrounded by negativity. True friends can be difficult to find. People with hidden motives are often able to hide their selfish agendas well, and we don’t realize how they’ve used us or what they’ve taken from us, until it’s too late.
In this article we will look at 5 ways to spot hidden motives and what you can do about preventing yourself from being manipulated.
5 WAYS TO SPOT SOMEONE WITH HIDDEN MOTIVES
Do you believe that someone is hiding things from you? Maybe you believe they are not simply concealing a recent purchase however hiding how they in fact feel about you. Do you wonder whether or not they have great intents towards you?
Nobody wishes to be benefited from, and somebody with hidden intentions is more than likely aiming to do just that. If you feel regulated, confused or upset after speaking with the individual you think might have hidden motives, you are likely right. Keep reading to learn if you are right.
An individual with hidden motives is most likely acting self-centered.
Let’s look at some easy methods to identify concealed motives and exactly what you can do to avoid handling people who are aiming to weaken you.
1. YOU NOTICE UNUSUAL BODY LANGUAGE AND EYE CONTACT
Those with hidden motives make a habit out of lying. Liars will try to remain cool, calm and collected, but their body language and eye contact can give them away. They will seem uncomfortable, have a hard time looking you in the eye, and may be fidgety. Excessive blinking is also a sign of lying. It seems as though the liar is trying to clear the cloud over their eyes that is keeping them from being truthful.
2. YOU HAVE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS AFTER SPEAKING TO THEM
If a toxic person has just finished talking to you and you feel as if you’re misunderstood, irritated, unsure, or just have an extremely bad feeling in general, then you have just witnessed what it’s like to fall prey to someone with bad intentions.
These people leave you feeling as if you weren’t even heard, like you were just talking to a wall the whole time, that somehow they pulled a fast one on you. Do not fall victim to these negative feelings; that is what they want you to feel deep inside. They feed off that energy and use it to their advantage.
3. THEY ALWAYS SEEM TO WANT THE SAME THING
There is a single-minded focus to someone with hidden motives and they will keep talking about the thing that they are trying to get you to do, over and over again. You feel like you’ve heard it a million times and you’re about to cave in to their demands. Don’t. Instead, try changing the subject as many times as needed until they get the point; you won’t cave in.
4. USE OF TACTICS TO PERSUADE YOU
If you say no to them, do they try to make you feel guilty? Perhaps they want to borrow money, you say no, then they tell you that if you don’t give it to them then their children won’t be able to eat tonight. Watch out for this sort of behavior.
Persuasion is a skill that is useful when you are negotiating for the best deal on a car that you can get. It’s not something that you want to be used against you, especially if you aren’t good at resisting pressure.
This persuasion can include sexual coercion. In a study of narcissistic men researchers found ‘narcissism constitutes a personality trait that may foster tendencies toward sexual coercion, especially given the narcissistic propensity for self-serving interpretations, low empathy toward others, and inflated sense of entitlement.’ Do not allow yourself to be talked into anything you don’t want to do, including sex.
5. YOU ARE NOT THE FOCUS OF YOUR CONVERSATION
Toxic people will often engage in conversations with others only to talk about themselves. They will make it seem like they are very interested in what’s going on in your personal life, but somehow always manage to flip the conversation back to themselves again.
They will relentlessly shower you with how many things they need and all of the things that they want. This isn’t just a general need or want, they will tell you exactly what they need from you or what they want you to do for them. Do not fall prey to this manipulation.
Someone with a hidden agenda will have no problem using you, hurting you or taking from you, so it’s best to keep that person out of your life.