The media likes to suggest that the sex is just a physical gesture but is not the case because sex more that a physical gesture, and it’s not as inconsequential as a handshake. Even if you’re a fan of casual sex it is important to respect the vulnerability and emotional strength, that go hand in hand with sex. From a biological point of view sex releases hormones that can strongly influence men and women to feel closer and want to remain connected with their partner. All people think differently about sex but, all of them hold strong opinions and feelings about the meaning of sex in their lives. So, before heading to the bedroom, it is important to consider the choice you are making and think twice about everything. It can be difficult to think straight when emotions are high, but try to work through these 4 questions:
1. What are my values about sex? Are these values fit with the person that I’ll have sex? Some key factors to consider are the level of commitment and level of emotional intimacy that you believe there should be before having sex.
2. How good fit my life circumstances with the decision to have sex? Before you decide to have sex with someone else while you are related to someone (married, live with someone, or only in a monogamous relationship) it is important to consider the consequences that may follow. Similar to that, you might want to think about the consequences of having sex with a boss or co-worker, or with a close friend.
3. Is this person a good choice for me? Maybe deep down you know that the man you have begun dating or are interested in is a bad choice of partner.Perhaps you know the person is a player. Or, that they have an anger problem, an alcohol addiction, or some other issue that you’d be better off staying away from. Choosing to have sex with that person you will be increasing your sense of intimacy and increasing the likelihood of creating more problems in your life. Even if your libido is telling you to say yes, you should consider whether listen to his passionate pleas towards you.
4. Is this the right timing for me? Sometimes, the potential partner seems right, the timing can be wrong. For example, many people who came out of a long relationship often tend to make bad choices like a one-night stand or immediately jumping into a relationship with someone new. You might like the new person enough to want to wait until you feel emotionally stable again before entering into a sexual relationship with them. Or, you might realize that you’ve been holding back when you really would be truer to yourself by finally saying yes.
Before you decide whether to have sex or not because it is a very important decision, check in with yourself first whether to engage in this adventure or not.
Entries for the Relationships blog are for general educational purposes only. They may or may not be helpful for your situation and they should not be relied upon as a substitute for individual professional treatment, diagnosis, or advice. If you need help for an emotional or behavioral problem, you should seek the assistance of a psychologist.